You Are Worth It: Why Women Keep Putting Themselves Last

I want to share something that has been bothering me.

It is frustrating, watching so many women out there not taking care of themselves. And I don't say that to shame anyone. I say it because I see it, in my practice and in my own life, and I think it's time we address it.

When a woman doesn't fill her prescription because she "forgot" or "didn't have time." When she hasn't been outside in days because life got busy. When her plate is full of everyone else's needs and there's nothing left on it for her own. What I see underneath all of that isn't laziness or lack of discipline. It seems to be an unconscious belief that she isn't worth the effort. That her own body and her own life simply don't rank high enough on the list to earn her attention.

I have talked to so many women who will move mountains for their children's health. They'll research every ingredient, drive across town for the right supplement, rearrange their entire week for a pediatrician appointment. And then I ask about their own health, and I hear the same two excuses every time: "It's too expensive," or "I don't have the time."

That's a decision, even if it doesn't feel like one.

Here's a harder question. Not "do I have the time" or "can I afford it," but underneath all of that: do you actually believe you are worth the effort? Worth the time? Worth the money? Because I think if we're honest, that's the real question, and a lot of us have never actually answered it out loud.

I hear it constantly. A woman will say, "I need to check with my husband," before she'll spend money on her own health. And I don't believe that's really about the money. I think, more often than not, that sentence is a woman quietly telling herself, "I'm not sure I'm worth it." Because I can tell you, there aren't many husbands out there who would look at their wife and say, "No, I don't think you should spend the time and effort on improving your health." Most of them would tell her to go, to do it, to take care of herself. Most husbands want their wives to feel better. The permission she's waiting for isn't really his to give. It's hers.

I can say with complete confidence that one of the biggest reasons I prioritize my own health is because I want to show up for the people I love. I want to be present for my husband and my kids, not just physically in the room but actually there, with energy and patience left to give. I want to be a good friend and a good practitioner, someone who can help others feel better instead of running on empty myself. And I can't do any of that well if I'm not taking care of myself first.

Think about the safety demonstration on every airplane you've ever been on. Put your own oxygen mask on first, before you help anyone else with theirs. That instruction exists because it's the only thing that actually works. You cannot help the people you love from a place of depletion. Taking care of yourself first isn't selfish, it's the thing that makes everything else you give to others sustainable.

Here's the truth I want every woman reading this to hear: you do not need a gym membership to move your body. You need a wall for pushups. A parking lot for squats and lunges. A floor for sit ups. Sunlight is free, and a walk outside costs nothing but the decision to put on your shoes and go. Choosing what you put into your body, choosing to actually take the life saving medication you were prescribed, choosing to step outside and let the sun hit your skin, none of that requires money you don't have. It requires you to decide that you matter enough to do it.

Choose yourself first. Not because you're selfish, but because you cannot keep pouring from an empty cup, and everyone who loves you would rather have you well than run yourself into the ground caring for them. If you can't yet find the reason to do it for you, then do it for them. Do it for the people who need you healthy and present, not just physically there.

So I'll leave you with one question: when are you going to decide that you are worth it? That you deserve to feel good, to feel strong, to be well? The decision is yours to make, and you can start making it today, for free, right where you are.

Nicole Flynn, NTP, RHP, BCHN Functional Practitioner, Nicole Flynn Nutrition + Wellness